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Dear Edith

    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith: I’m not maternal

    Dear Edith Question I'm not maternal -- FemCatholic.com

    Dear Edith,

    I recently re-verted to my faith, and am struggling because I feel like every single thing I read about women in Catholicism has to do with motherhood.

    I love my mom friends, and they are awesome, but I’m single right now, and not sure I even ever want to have kids.

    Honestly, I’m just not very maternal. A lot of my friends just love babies, and are great with them. I think babies are cute, but personally, I just don’t have this longing to be a mom that some of my friends have.

    Which is good, because I really don’t know if I’m patient enough to deal with little kids day in and day out.

    I’ve not one of these girls that daydreams about decorating a nursery or being pregnant.

    I have a Masters and a job I love and I feel like the Church should focus more on all the things women can do in the world, and how they can be leaders.

    And isn’t that what feminism is supposed to be about, anyway? Celebrating women for more than just making babies?

    — Anonymous


    Responses to this question will be accepted until Aug. 31, 2017.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response 1 – Amy

    Finding Meaning as a SAHM: FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Annemarie,

    I totally understand how you feel.

    I always saw myself as the “working woman” and figured I’d follow in my mom’s footsteps. She worked full time my whole life, attended all the school things, and was/is a great mother. I never felt as if she didn’t love me or my siblings.

    When my first baby came along, I was fresh out of college and I felt my talents and gifts were wasting away. I struggled so much with staying home, yet I felt guilty for feeling that way.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #3 – Pam

    Dear Edith response 3 Pam -- FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    All the four specific vocations; single life, married life, consecrated life or the ordained ministry are a call to holiness, our road to a holy God. Irrespective of our vocations we are all “invited” to live holy lives. Each vocation is a call to follow Christ closely.

    That should be our end goal. There’s plenty of discussion about whether or not being single is a vocation. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I on the road to holiness?” That needs to be your obsession. Mathew 6:33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and everything shall be added unto you.”

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith: Finding Meaning as a SAHM

    FemCatholic Dear Edith Question on finding meaning as a SAHM

    Dear Edith,

    I have a question and a prayer request.

    I just recently stopped working (was let go from a small nonprofit because I missed work during my first trimester with extreme morning sickness) and now I’m at home and I’m struggling with what to do. The first couple of weeks weren’t bad, but now I’m alone during the day, pregnant with our first baby, and trying to understand where God wants me to be. 

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #2 – Philippa

    FemCatholic Dear Edith Q&A on being single as a gift and vocation for catholic women

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    Yes and no.

    ‘Vocation’ comes from the Latin root for ‘call’. But being single is a state of life, like marriage. They are both natural states of life, and most people end up getting married, regardless of whether they feel ‘called’ to it or not.

    And yet every person who has become a priest or consecrated person (like monks, nuns and friars) has experienced a very definite ‘call’ from God to that life. Without exception.
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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #1 – Hannah

    Is being single a catholic vocation? Hannah responds to the Dear Edith question for catholic women

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    This is a fantastic question that I have been thinking about myself! Our culture seems strangely obsessed with marriage, and sometimes this can have the devastating effect of making single people feel that being single is worthless, which could not be further from the truth.

    To get the technicalities out of the way first: As far as a permanent calling to the single life, it seems to me that Church teaching suggests that such a calling would take the form of consecrated virginity, but like you I haven’t been able to find anything official either way (you might check out this article as an example of what people say unofficially).

    Instead, I have heard trustworthy folk refer to a “temporary vocation to single life,” which is a good way of thinking about the state of being single while waiting for and discerning a permanent vocation to marriage, religious life, or consecrated virginity.

    Some people talk about single life as though it is just a time to work on yourself so that you’ll be an awesome wife/nun/consecrated virgin in the future. It’s true that single life does give you this opportunity, but I think there’s more to it than that. Our God is a God of the present. He has a plan for each day of our lives, including each day we spend as a single person.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #3 Mary as Queen

    Mother Mary catholic women response to Dear Edith 3

     Read the original question here.

    I used to struggle in understanding why Mary was always depicted with her eyes downcast. This was a problem for me because I saw it as submissive, a demeanor I don’t particularly like.

    I decided to read up on it and found artists depicted her that way to indicate that she was detached from worldly things, and while her eyes were looking down her heart was lifted up towards Heaven. So it wasn’t man she was showing humility to, but she was basically scorning the temporal, physical world. I thought this was pretty radical. And this is how I also learnt about the virtue of detachment. It’s sort of like experiencing your world from a third-person point of view, as opposed to first person. This really helped me put my day-to-day experiences in perspective.

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