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Dear Edith

    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith: Starving but wanting to stay

    Dear Edith Starving but wanting to stay at your Parish --FemCatholic.com

    Dear Edith,

    A recent move has landed my family 20 hours away from home. We now find ourselves in the rural south, in the middle of the “Baptist belt.”

    The Catholic parish is very small, and I am embarrassed to admit this but I absolutely hate the parish life. I’ve disliked priests before, but never to this extent.

    Our pastor is a good man, he’s faithful and is available for all the sacraments; my dislike is totally a clash of personalities. I also disagree with the way a lot of things are done within the liturgy. Often things are included and made a part of the mass that have no business being a part of the celebration (for example, once a month we sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to everyone who is celebrating their birthday that particular month).

    I’ve worked in professional ministry settings for the last 7 years and I have a degree in Theology and Religious Education. I think this is partially why I get so frazzled. I volunteer at the parish, helping where I can, but I’m not in a position to “fix” anything.

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    Dear Edith

    Trusting Men Response #1 – Amy

    Dear Edith Trusting Men Response #1 Amy --FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Anonymous,

    The easy part of your question to answer is: Yes, he was cheating on God, too. Cheating in the sense that he was sinning against God. So, with that cleared up, let’s carry on.

    I completely and totally understand the not trusting men thing. Whenever someone claims to love you, and then does a very poor job of it, it’s hard to trust. I would imagine you are afraid of investing in another man and getting duped again, which is totally understandable. Here was a guy who to the world appeared the good guy, yet he was living a lie. How in the world is one supposed to tell if they’re a good guy when they a player in angel robes?

    I think your fear is that you don’t trust yourself to not fall for another sucker and waste massive amounts of time. I would encourage you to reflect back on your 8 year relationship with him. Do you in hindsight see actions or behaviors now that could have been red flags? I bet you might be able to pick up a few. Often times, when we are in love or like a person, we ignore red flags, especially if that person “seems” squeaky clean.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #3 – Jessica

    I'm Not Maternal: Dear Edith question for catholic women -- femcatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Hi Anonymous,

    I resonate with you.

    While I will admit that I personally love babies and hope to be married and a mom one day – I, too, get irked by the overwhelming abundance of Catholic wife and mommy blogs and the unspoken yet pervasive sense that “mommy-hood” is what it means to be a fully realized Catholic woman.

    I have other passions, abilities, and callings in life too besides pushing out babies. Ultimately, what it means to be a holy Catholic woman today is to follow Christ to the best of my ability, strengthened by the grace of God. I want to live out my apostolate, my call to be Christ’s hands and feet in the world, now, today, each day. God has not yet allowed me to become a wife or a mother, and for all I know, that might never happen for me. So in the meantime, what does it mean to live out my vocation in my current state of life?   

    While you say “I’m not maternal”, I would ask – what does the word “maternal” mean anyway?

    What does it mean to be a mother? We often think that being maternal means reacting like the dog from the movie “Up” when he sees a squirrel every time we see a baby, or that it means fantasizing about our future children and “decorating a nursery”, or lamenting the increasingly audible sound of our biological clocks. But is that all it means to be maternal?

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #2 – Julie

    I'm not maternal: Catholic women respond -- FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear anonymous,

    One of the beautiful revelations for me of reading St. John Paul II’s Letter to Women, was discovering the Catholic church upheld women working. Up unto then, I thought the only way to be a true woman was to be a SAHM. Being present in the workplace as a woman balances the workplace environment.

    God perhaps has withheld imparting the desire for biological maternity to spare you the agony of wanting something that is not yet attainable in your life because you are single. You can live what is called spiritual motherhood.

    Spiritual motherhood is a beautiful gift. I witnessed this in a profound way on a mission trip to Haiti. I was with a group of college students, priests, and consecrated women. We were ministering in the wound clinic. The wounds were severe and very painful. A consecrated woman knelt down at the feet of a woman with a severe toe wound. Very lovingly, gently and so Christ like she soothed the women as the consecrated debrided her foot – without pain meds. This consecrated woman was ministering Christ present in the Haitian woman. Such a profound beauty of spiritual motherhood. Also on the trip, I witnessed these consecrated women rock babies, feed babies, and lovingly hold them. Again, another way to care for others in our femininity in lieu of biological motherhood.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith: Trusting Men

    Catholic women answer: how can you trust again after a breakup? FemCatholic.com

    Dear Edith,

    2 years ago (almost) I broke up with my then boyfriend. We were best friends for 8 years, and I only had started dating him after he left seminary.

    We dated for 6 months, but come to find out he had been cheating on me for the duration of my relationship (was he cheating on God too because he was hooking up with girls while in seminary 🤔).

    While I’m grateful to be out of the relationship, and even more grateful to say that me and the “other woman” are now best friends, I still find my self struggling to trust men.

    The few dates I’ve been on I’ve been rambling and nervous. I get nervous when men touch me (hugging, handshakes, shoulder touches). The only men I feel comfortable around are relatives, gay men, and guys whom my other lady friends are dating.

    My mom insists that I wait for a “good catholic man” but my ex seemed like a “good catholic man” so I can’t even trust that.

    What are some tips for trusting men, or trusting people in general when I’ve been hurt so badly?

    — Anonymous


    Responses to this question will be accepted until Sept. 30, 2017.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #1 – Brittany

    Dear Edith: I'm Not Maternal - read response #1 here on FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear I’m Not Maternal,

    Regarding the lack of maternal feelings . . . I used to want to be a nun.

    In fact, I’d often remark that I found the idea of sex repulsive, and childbirth? Forget it. “Take my womb; I don’t need it!”

    Then, I had what could only be described as a divine dream. It helped me realize that the path toward the convent was not what God wanted for me; this shook my sense of self, because I felt that a woman’s identity in the Church seemed to be built around holy virginity or mothering as many children as possible. I really struggled with God’s will for a long time, and it took therapy for me to discover that a large portion of my desire for the convent was my fear of intimacy and my unwillingness to surrender control. . .

    I felt that a woman’s identity in the Church seemed to be built around holy virginity or mothering as many children as possible.

    Then I met THE ONE. It was like a light bulb went off and I realized why I wasn’t meant for the convent after all. I still wasn’t keen on the idea of children, though. I was a strong, independent woman who resented the box that society tries to put women in.

    Now, I didn’t mind other people’s kids. Heck, I was a teacher! But surely I was too impatient/selfish/unfit for motherhood. I had more to offer life than another human on an already crowded planet.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #3 – Catherine

    Dear Edith finding meaning as a SAHM -- FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Annemarie,

    I felt a little envious when I first read of your plight to be quite honest.

    Studying and working, newly married (TEN months before baby born), sick as a dog and incredibly busy, I was in denial about the realities for a good part of my first pregnancy. I winged it completely, cried at the birthing classes, couldn’t do the breathing, ran out of the birth video in horror.

    With the hindsight of 25 years and 5 children, what would I do differently?

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