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Dear Edith

Dear Edith Response #3 – Pam

Dear Edith response 3 Pam -- FemCatholic.com

Read the original question here.

Dear Jessica,

All the four specific vocations; single life, married life, consecrated life or the ordained ministry are a call to holiness, our road to a holy God. Irrespective of our vocations we are all “invited” to live holy lives. Each vocation is a call to follow Christ closely.

That should be our end goal. There’s plenty of discussion about whether or not being single is a vocation. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I on the road to holiness?” That needs to be your obsession. Mathew 6:33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and everything shall be added unto you.”

Single Life : A person who has chosen to be single many not make a vow of poverty, chastity or obedience. Yet, she commits to live a life in love and service to her neighbor. She strives to live a holy life through work and prayer. She devotes his freedom and time to Christ.

You’re right in saying, ‘Being single is a common stage of life that everyone goes through.’ It doesn’t mean simply waiting.

Have you seen kids or teenagers? They don’t see their childhood or adolescence as a period of wilderness or a desert. Why do single women look at their period of singleness as a wilderness? Why do we fill this beautiful time with empty relationships, physical hangups, and needless pain?

This period of singleness is a time of growth and sowing the seeds of God’s kingdom. It’s a time of sowing for the harvest.

This period of singleness is a time of growth and sowing the seeds of God’s kingdom. It’s a time of sowing for the harvest. It’s a time of preparation for the next phase of our lives. A time to build roots and a strong foundation for our communities into one we will eventually make our own families a part of.

  • If you think you’re alone, think again, God is always at your side.
  • If you think you’re running out of time, don’t, God can make up for lost time.
  • If you’re wavering in your faith, stand firm, for you are fighting principalities of darkness!
  • If someone is asking you to prove your love for them by physically compromising yourself, walk away. You are the temple of the Living God.

Use this time to build the Church, the community and yourself

  • Choose a ministry and be fruitful whether that’s the lecterns, choir, Legion, Charismatic movement,Sunday school, RCIA. The list is extensive.
  • Chose a section of your community to work with by donating your time and talents. This can include the sick, the elderly, the homebound, unemployed, widows, single mothers. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you opportunities where He’s calling you to fellowship with these people.
  • Choose aspects of yourself to build up: Educate yourself about the faith, develop a hobby, sort out your finances, identify your weakness and convert them to strengths.

Single Women are like foot soldiers in the kingdom of God.

Single Women are like foot soldiers in the kingdom of God. They work invisibly, quietly sowing the seeds which the Holy Spirit will then water, nourish and make fruitful. They should know they’re an integral part of the Church and their journey of singleness is as beautiful as their destination, irrespective of their vocation. I know the hardships of single Christian women and so wrote Ten Reminders For The Single Christian Woman where I talk about vocation and remind women that whatever happens in our life, God always wants best for us.


Pamela Q. Fernandes is a doctor, author and medical writer. She’s the author of the Christian nonfiction series, “Ten Reminder,” romance novellas like Seoul-Mates, Cinders of Castlerea and Under a Scottish Sky. She has also written many speculative short stories; Joseon Fringe, Where is Ally and Raven’s Call. Pamela was born and raised in Kuwait. When not writing and seeing patients she loves to bake brownies and unsuccessfully learn the piano. She runs the Christian Circle Podcast twice a month.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Philippa Martyr

    Thank you to FemCatholic for letting actual single women (including me) reply to this one! There are a lot of well-meaning married sisters who like to explain our singleness to us, and it’s such a relief when they stop.

    July 30, 2017 at 7:07 pm
  • Reply PAMELA FERNANDES

    Thank you so much Samantha, for letting me share a different perspective on singlehood. I pray single women reading your website, will find it helpful. Blessings. Pam

    July 31, 2017 at 3:40 am
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