The Mothers’ Manual by Fr. A. Francis Coomes, S.J. is a beautifully written prayer book that can help guide a mother through daily life and, in turn, lead her towards greater spirituality in her vocation. However, there is a thought-provoking section that discusses breastfeeding:

“But we know that almighty God has planned breastfeeding for both mother and child as a part of his scheme of love. For best development, the baby needs such a secure relationship with its mother as breastfeeding provides. The mother needs this relationship, too, for proper fulfillment and for the realization of the proper bond of love with her child. It is part of God’s plan. The way God planned it was to give a mother milk along with the baby. It is a very normal, correct thing for her to give this milk to her baby as its best food. Mothers can do themselves and their baby a real disservice by willfully neglecting this loving role of breastfeeding."

Does breastfeeding lead to bonding? Is it a gift from God to be able to nourish your child with your own body? Is breastfeeding natural and good for your baby? The obvious answer is “yes” to all of these.

But what if a mother can’t breastfeed? What if she chooses not to? Does that make her unholy, neglectful, or dishonorable as a mother? Can she still bond with her baby and live out her vocation to motherhood in the way God intended? The Church is largely in support of breastfeeding, as Catholicism favors all things natural and the way God intended. However, some Catholic sources in circulation, such as the aforementioned prayer book, are silent in response to these or other questions regarding the choice of bottle feeding. Instead, they focus on glorifying breastfeeding, which leaves mothers who don’t breastfeed fearful that they are making an immoral choice.

I want to encourage mothers that they can find reassurance that their choice to not breastfeed is moral and in line with the Church.

Breastfeeding is indeed beautiful and can be a part of God’s plan for the relationship between mother and child, but there is more to God’s design for this relationship. While breastfeeding provides a great opportunity for bonding, it is not always necessary or the optimum way to build the mother-child relationship. Whether a breast or a bottle is the source of nourishment, time and attention must be devoted by a mother to feed her child, therefore creating an opportunity for them to bond. “The act of holding your baby, comforting your baby, and feeding your baby when they are hungry is really the foundation for establishing a strong emotional bond. It’s the constant way we - as parents - communicate to our babies that we are here for them and that we will meet their needs” (Lauren Tamm, The Military Wife and Mom). Mothers are morally bound to nurture their children, but they are not morally bound to a specific method of doing so.

Whether a breast or a bottle is the source of nourishment, time and attention must be devoted by a mother to feed her child, therefore creating an opportunity for them to bond.

Breastfeeding is not for every mother, and this is not solely for reasons of physical difficulty (e.g. low milk supply, an unhealthy mother or child, or an incompatible latch). This also applies to when a mother, using her best judgement, chooses not to breastfeed for the benefit of both herself and her child. Her choice might be due to a variety of reasons: to increase her amount of rest for greater mental stability during the postpartum period, to avoid the strains of pumping breast milk while at work, or perhaps to avoid provoking a sensory disorder in which breastfeeding causes extreme discomfort. With these scenarios in mind, a mother may choose not to breastfeed because it would hinder the relationship she builds with her baby by making her stressed and overwhelmed during the feeding process.

[A] mother may choose not to breastfeed because it would hinder the relationship she builds with her baby by making her stressed and overwhelmed during the feeding process.

As a society, we should be careful to not demonize formula as an alternative to breastmilk (whether by necessity or choice). Dr. Claire McCarthy shares that, “[w]hen we demonize formula we also run the risk of shaming women who, for any number of good reasons, choose not to breastfeed. There are many other ways besides breastfeeding to help babies grow and be healthy; it’s important to keep that perspective. As valuable as breastfeeding is, there is much more to parenthood than breastfeeding. It’s important to keep the big picture in mind for each mother and baby, and help them both flourish.”

While breast milk is natural and a marvel of the female body, it is important to understand that with the advancement of technology, formula has been carefully engineered to be very similar to mother’s milk. The difference between formula and breastmilk can hardly be detected in the overall development of a child after the first year of life. Studies have shown that the gap in health benefits between breastmilk and formula is quickly shrinking due to the recent addition of immunity-boosting prebiotics to formula.

Breastmilk, being naturally produced, will always be slightly more nutritionally beneficial than formula. In The Science of Mom, Dr. Alice Callahan explains there are early health benefits for a child who is breastfed such as increased immunity, a reduced chance of ear infections, and decreased instances of eczema. However, these benefits do not extend past the child’s first year of life. Furthermore, recent studies involving sibling pairs show that, when looking at factors such as BMI, obesity, hyperactivity, reading comprehension, mathematical ability, and memory, few differences can be found between children who were breastfed and children who were formula fed (Bakalar, 2014). The notion that breastmilk is far more beneficial for a baby is outdated and should not be cited when questioning whether or not a mother is morally obligated to breastfeed.

The notion that breastmilk is far more beneficial for a baby is outdated and should not be cited when questioning whether or not a mother is morally obligated to breastfeed.

If a woman chooses to breastfeed, she can be proud of her ability to provide her child with slightly elevated nutrition and added safeguards against physical ailments. If a woman chooses not to breastfeed, she can rest assured that her child is not missing out on something essential to their health and wellbeing simply because they are formula fed. As Jenny Uebbing puts it, “Yes, good mothers do breastfeed. But the reverse is not necessarily true: that breastfeeding makes a mother good.”

Motherhood and its sacred role in society reach far beyond the act of feeding. In no way is a mother less holy, responsible, educated, loving, or honorable because she does not breastfeed. Breastfeeding can certainly be a way in which a mother fulfills her vocation to care for her child - but it is not the only way.