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    Dear Edith

    Trusting Men Response #1 – Amy

    Dear Edith Trusting Men Response #1 Amy --FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Anonymous,

    The easy part of your question to answer is: Yes, he was cheating on God, too. Cheating in the sense that he was sinning against God. So, with that cleared up, let’s carry on.

    I completely and totally understand the not trusting men thing. Whenever someone claims to love you, and then does a very poor job of it, it’s hard to trust. I would imagine you are afraid of investing in another man and getting duped again, which is totally understandable. Here was a guy who to the world appeared the good guy, yet he was living a lie. How in the world is one supposed to tell if they’re a good guy when they a player in angel robes?

    I think your fear is that you don’t trust yourself to not fall for another sucker and waste massive amounts of time. I would encourage you to reflect back on your 8 year relationship with him. Do you in hindsight see actions or behaviors now that could have been red flags? I bet you might be able to pick up a few. Often times, when we are in love or like a person, we ignore red flags, especially if that person “seems” squeaky clean.

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    Modern Catholic Women

    No, “Cheap Sex” is Not Why No One’s Getting Married

    No, Cheap Sex is not why no one's getting married -- FemCatholic.com

    Is cheap sex making marriage obsolete? A popular New York Post article sure thinks so.  (Incidentally, so does my late grandmother, who took every opportunity to counsel, re: “giving the milk away for free.”)

    The New York Post is right on one point: marriage rates are decreasing. But slut-shaming, with a side of porn and masturbation, isn’t the primary source of this decline.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/?utm_term=.0a4b89d3d4f8

    Do we really believe, as a society, for the past 241 years of American history, men simply followed their phallus into lifelong marriage in exchange for an exclusive, all-access pass to unlimited sex?

    I’d expect this kind of reasoning from Hugh Hefner or James Bond. Surprisingly, it’s quite prevalent in Christian dating advice books. The best cure for sexual desire before marriage? Simply get married!

    As a married woman, please, hear me out: this is terrible, terrible advice.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith: Trusting Men

    Catholic women answer: how can you trust again after a breakup? FemCatholic.com

    Dear Edith,

    2 years ago (almost) I broke up with my then boyfriend. We were best friends for 8 years, and I only had started dating him after he left seminary.

    We dated for 6 months, but come to find out he had been cheating on me for the duration of my relationship (was he cheating on God too because he was hooking up with girls while in seminary 🤔).

    While I’m grateful to be out of the relationship, and even more grateful to say that me and the “other woman” are now best friends, I still find my self struggling to trust men.

    The few dates I’ve been on I’ve been rambling and nervous. I get nervous when men touch me (hugging, handshakes, shoulder touches). The only men I feel comfortable around are relatives, gay men, and guys whom my other lady friends are dating.

    My mom insists that I wait for a “good catholic man” but my ex seemed like a “good catholic man” so I can’t even trust that.

    What are some tips for trusting men, or trusting people in general when I’ve been hurt so badly?

    — Anonymous


    Responses to this question will be accepted until Sept. 30, 2017.

    Want to respond? Or have a question of your own?

    See the Dear Edith page for more info.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #3 – Pam

    Dear Edith response 3 Pam -- FemCatholic.com

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    All the four specific vocations; single life, married life, consecrated life or the ordained ministry are a call to holiness, our road to a holy God. Irrespective of our vocations we are all “invited” to live holy lives. Each vocation is a call to follow Christ closely.

    That should be our end goal. There’s plenty of discussion about whether or not being single is a vocation. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I on the road to holiness?” That needs to be your obsession. Mathew 6:33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and everything shall be added unto you.”

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    Modern Catholic Women, Other Resources

    NFP is at the Heart of the Feminist Movement for Equality

    NFP is at the heart of the feminist movement for equality FemCatholic.com

    Fertility Awareness isn’t just about pregnancy and women’s health; it’s about equality.

    It’s Natural Family Planning Awareness week – which means you may see a lot of women promoting NFP because “my body isn’t broken,” “children are a gift,” and “cycles are part of being a woman.”

    Maybe you agree with those things. Maybe you don’t.

    If you’re a feminist, maybe it doesn’t matter; because those arguments are all missing the point.

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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #2 – Philippa

    FemCatholic Dear Edith Q&A on being single as a gift and vocation for catholic women

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    Yes and no.

    ‘Vocation’ comes from the Latin root for ‘call’. But being single is a state of life, like marriage. They are both natural states of life, and most people end up getting married, regardless of whether they feel ‘called’ to it or not.

    And yet every person who has become a priest or consecrated person (like monks, nuns and friars) has experienced a very definite ‘call’ from God to that life. Without exception.
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    Dear Edith

    Dear Edith Response #1 – Hannah

    Is being single a catholic vocation? Hannah responds to the Dear Edith question for catholic women

    Read the original question here.

    Dear Jessica,

    This is a fantastic question that I have been thinking about myself! Our culture seems strangely obsessed with marriage, and sometimes this can have the devastating effect of making single people feel that being single is worthless, which could not be further from the truth.

    To get the technicalities out of the way first: As far as a permanent calling to the single life, it seems to me that Church teaching suggests that such a calling would take the form of consecrated virginity, but like you I haven’t been able to find anything official either way (you might check out this article as an example of what people say unofficially).

    Instead, I have heard trustworthy folk refer to a “temporary vocation to single life,” which is a good way of thinking about the state of being single while waiting for and discerning a permanent vocation to marriage, religious life, or consecrated virginity.

    Some people talk about single life as though it is just a time to work on yourself so that you’ll be an awesome wife/nun/consecrated virgin in the future. It’s true that single life does give you this opportunity, but I think there’s more to it than that. Our God is a God of the present. He has a plan for each day of our lives, including each day we spend as a single person.

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