I’ve been blessed to have amazing female friends: bosom buddies, kindred spirits, women who have challenged and supported me over the years. Some I rarely see, while others are a consistent presence in my life (even when separated by distance).

These women are not all like me. In fact, many of them have interests and passions that are decidedly different from my own. On the surface, they wouldn’t seem to be likely candidates for “casual acquaintance,” let alone “close friend.”

Despite the fact that faith plays an enormously important role in my life, some of my friends aren’t religious at all. Some view Catholicism through a different lens, while others have no spiritual life to speak of. And yet, I am better off for having these wonderful women in my life. My secular friends have walked through life with me in joy and suffering, and I hope I’ve returned the favor.

Particularly in these divisive and polarizing times, we should cherish friendships that are strong enough to cross political, social, and even religious barriers. As a society, we are starving for connection. However, so many voices tell us to “stick to our teams” and “pick a side.” I reject this destructive suggestion.

Particularly in these divisive and polarizing times, we should cherish friendships that are strong enough to cross political, social, and even religious barriers.

With all that being said, it is valuable to have a bridge connecting us to our secular female friends — and I see no greater bridge-builder than Mary, Queen of the Universe, Mother of the Church, Undoer of Knots. We Catholics know how precious a relationship with Mary can be.

This past Christmas, a good friend of mine sent me a copy of The Way of the Rose: The Radical Path of the Divine Feminine Hidden in the Rosary by Clark Strand and Perdita Finn.

Orthodoxy it is not. The authors came to a devotion to the Blessed Mother from a very different spiritual background than most Catholic writers. However, their love for Mary is real, and their unique connection to her made for an interesting read.

However, it wasn’t the book itself that I treasured — it was the fact that my yoga-practicing, fire-walking, very non-Catholic friend saw the book and thought of me. Long after I finished reading it, I was struck by what a powerful tool Mary and the rosary are for reaching out to our secular friends.

Here are four reasons why I think the Blessed Mother is uniquely suited to bridge the gap between faithful Catholics and the secular world:

Mary Is Universal

Much like the Catholic Church itself, the Blessed Mother is universal. With Vatican-approved apparitions on multiple continents and “partial apparitions” reported from Rwanda to Japan, Mary is in every corner of our world. And while not every country can claim a Marian apparition, millions of people from different racial and ethnic backgrounds have personal devotions to Our Lady.

Mary Debunks the Myth That the Church Is Anti-woman

For many secular people, religion becomes a non-starter when viewed through the lens of female oppression. The reverence that Catholics have for Mary and the prominent role she occupies in the Faith pushes back on the narrative that Catholicism is inherently anti-woman. Mary is Queen of the Universe and Queen of All Saints. When our non-religious friends start to understand this truth, a new dialogue can open up.

Mary Understands Suffering

To be human is to suffer. This is never truer than in motherhood. The little (and sometimes big) aches and pains of pregnancy, the challenges of being a new mom, the heartbreak of watching your children grow up ... they all connect us to the Blessed Mother. Mary’s suffering is particularly resonant with the millions of women who have suffered miscarriages and loss. In any case, her example of suffering is profoundly relatable.

Mary Is Accessible

Mary is, of course, a powerful intercessor in our prayer life. For people who are uncomfortable with (or unpracticed in) conversational prayer, the Hail Mary offers a simple, accessible formula for prayer and reflection. Similarly, the rosary is a deceptively simple tool for our spiritual lives. Wrapped around a rearview mirror or stuffed in the bottom of our purses, it’s there for us when we need it. We may never convince our secular friends to attend Mass with us, let alone convert. However, with the simple gift of an old rosary and a prayer card, we can offer them a powerful relationship with Mary.

The Blessed Mother can be a great bridge between us and our secular friends. She is there to help us strengthen connections, create bonds, and love one another.

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God” (1 John 4:7).