Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for free in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Before you read this post, I want you to stop and think about what adjectives, words, and characteristics are usually ascribed to Catholic men versus Catholic women. If your experience is anything like mine, I imagine it looks something like this.

Men: strong, bold, brave, warrior, protective, confident

Women: gentle, caring, meek, graceful, beautiful, humble

This is why I was pleasantly surprised to read this passage in Emily Wilson Hussem’s book Go Bravely:

“I have found that bravery is the main component required for living as a young woman of faith in our world today. If you want to live virtue and proclaim a wholehearted faith in your words and actions, you have to be bold. You have to be brave.”

Though my understanding of Catholic femininity has developed over the years, and I recognize that the words I used at the beginning of post should describe all Catholics regardless of sex, it is still really nice to see a book specifically directed towards women that focuses on bravery, strength, and boldness.

And this idea of bravery isn’t just a few off-hand comments; Wilson Hussem is stating that the “main component,” the necessary ingredient, the critical characteristic - is bravery. While the title indicates that this will be the focus of the book, the way she connects bravery and strength to Christian female life in general is fantastic, and this unique approach is admirable.

I wanted to highlight a few lines that struck me in particular.

Living as a Christian

“To be a brave woman of faith is to make decisions that bring us closer to God, even though these decisions can often be difficult or uncomfortable.”

Being a Christian, especially a Catholic, does not fit well with our current culture. Though some try to play off being Catholic and therefore counter-cultural  as something cool, the reality is that it makes life difficult. Even without societal pressures, being a Christian is hard because part of being a Christian is embracing the cross.

It takes bravery to say “no” to outside pressures, but I also think it takes strength to say “no” to our own desires.

By recognizing that it takes strength to follow Christ, we aren’t just affirming Biblical truths; we are using one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit - fortitude - which we all receive in baptism. We are also encouraging women (and men too for that matter) to stay strong even when they are struggling rather than making them feel like they should just give up.

It takes bravery to explain to friends or a date why you’re trying to live chastely. It takes strength to not succumb to your own attractions and desires in the interest of living virtuously.

It takes bravery to pass on a party or outing because you know it could put you in tempting situations. It takes strength to stick to these decisions, particularly when it means you’re going to be spending a Saturday night on your own.

It takes bravery to tell a medical professional you disagree with her and want to continue using a Fertility Awareness-Based Method, especially if she condescendingly lectures you. It takes strength to work with your husband to abstain during certain times because you know God isn’t calling you to have kids at that time.

Our Identity

“And always remember that daughters of God are not weak - they are strong, they are brave, and they shine.”

and

“Authentic femininity is not weak. True femininity has an undeniable strength to it, and as women, our power and strength do not lie in how much skin we show but in our selflessness and nurturing love. Our strength lies in our unique and feminine ability to sense when someone needs love or support.”

Almost every time women are reminded they are adopted children of God, the adjective most often used is beautiful. “You are beautiful daughters of God.” While I imagine many who say this are talking about the soul, it can be a struggle to reconcile that identity when we are struggling with our appearance. There is too strong of a link between physical appearance (which we can’t really control) and beauty.

On the other hand, bravery is something we can choose. It is something we can strive for. Knowing that it is a part of our identity, knowing that strength is connected to true femininity, empowers women to fight for Christ.

There is no shortage of examples of strong women in our Catholic faith. Ruth journeyed with her mother-in-law despite her own incredible loss. Judith led a group of people and beheaded an enemy in his tent with his own weapon to protect her people. Saints Felicity and Perpetua were early martyrs who proclaimed Christ even to death. Saint Monica prayed for decades for her husband and son despite their numerous sins. Saint Edith Stein was martyred in Auschwitz, offering her life as a sacrifice in atonement for the sins of others. And the list goes on and on, literally encompassing thousands of years worth of women whose strength came from Christ.

Confidence

“The ability to state these things [that we love about ourselves] is not prideful or egotistical; there is a holy confidence that we as young woman can live out when we recognize that God gave us incredible characteristics and qualities.”

I know this is a pretty broad generalization, but I think our tendency as women is to be very hard on ourselves. Whether it’s a physical trait or a personality characteristic, I think we all have had times in our lives where we wished we could change something.

And even when we get to the point of self-acceptance, I think there is still the risk of misunderstanding the virtue of humility. It’s tempting to contort it into something negative and self-deprecating.

I love that rather than focusing on these challenges, Wilson Hussem instead encourages the idea of “holy confidence.” She explains that this holy confidence comes from celebrating the uniqueness God bestowed onto each woman and calling upon our identity as daughters of God. This confidence doesn’t come from what we do; it comes from who we are. I thought it was a fantastic way to encourage a strong self-image. By acknowledging the gifts God gave us, we are able to properly appreciate who we are while still rightly orienting the credit to God.

Relationship

“We are called to live the reality that it is actually in depending on another that we derive our strength. In fact, we are strongest when we are totally dependant on God.”

In the past, women had no choice but to be reliant on men. They couldn’t vote or own property, and in many cases were treated as property themselves. One of the many contributions feminism made to our society is opportunities for women to be recognized as full human beings, and therefore, to have the opportunity to be more self-sufficient.

I am incredibly grateful that we have these opportunities. However, I think in some cases we’ve begun to idolize  self-reliance so much unto itself, that it becomes a kind of isolating independence. I feel like there is this intense pressure to prove ourselves by not needing help from anyone else, and that can sometimes  pull us away from community.

But God designed us to be in relationship. And though it is true that we are strong women who do not need a man, all of us as human beings desperately do need God.

I know it seems counterintuitive that relying on another takes strength. Relying on God means having the strength to deny ourselves. It means having the courage to do what is right even when it ranges from hard to in clear opposition to others. It means being strong enough to reflect our our weaknesses and be able to relinquish control. It means having courage to face our own vulnerability.

It is in that precise moment when we allow God to work through our own weakness that we can see His power (cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9).

♦♦♦

Through these examples (and many other in the book) that we can come to understand how bravery is a characteristic necessary for every Christian’s life, including women.

Book Review

Overall, I thought “Go Bravely” was a great look at what it means to be a young, authentically Catholic woman.

Wilson Hussem does an excellent job addressing important topics in an honest, humble, and inspiring way. She didn’t shy away from admitting her own faults, and the book felt like what she hoped it would: a chat with a friend. Wilson Hussem was very aware of the needs of her audience and consequently focused more on the practical applications and basic understandings of different principles rather than digging too deeply into theology. I think this made the content a lot more accessible because she presented some truths of our faith without overwhelming the reader. Additionally, the length of each section was perfect: each topic was only covered for a few pages, but it didn’t feel like anything was lacking.

My favorite thing about this book is how she took on some misconceptions about what the Church (or a person representing the Church) teaches. She calls out the often tired referral to women as merely “princesses,” she reminds women that their worth isn’t diminished because they wear less clothing, and she focuses on chastity over virginity (just to name a few highlights).

That being said, I felt like the book occasionally crossed the line from inspiring to cheesy. I personally wasn’t a fan of the discussion questions and action items at the end of each section. To be fair, I don’t really like questions at the end of chapters to begin with, but I also felt like these specific items tended to be more shallow.  Though some of them were good, I think they should’ve challenged the reader to dig deeper rather than have them reflect on things that were questions that probably came up through thoughtful reading of the section to begin with.  For example, in the chapter called “Date with Purpose,” the questions are basically asking the reader to reflect on why she has a desire to date/ why she is dating someone. These questions in themselves aren’t bad, but since part of the chapter focused on considering this question. It seemed redundant, but it could’ve been improved by going deeper with those “whys.” After the “Why” question, it would’ve been nice to ask questions that call the reader to reflect on the content from earlier in the book like identity or relying on God.

Though there wasn’t anything wildly groundbreaking about this book (though there were a number of surprises), what sets it apart from other pieces on Catholic womanhood is that it is collected in one thoughtful book and presented in a friendly and non-intimidating fashion.

I would definitely recommend this book to young Catholic women. I think it would be best for women in high school or college who feel frustrated with the stereotypical caricatures of a Catholic woman and want to understand her femininity in a modern context.

That being said, even as a married woman who has been out in the “real world” for two years, I found this book beneficial. It was a really important reminder to me that strength and femininity aren’t contradictions but instead work together as characteristics of a faithful Catholic woman. Even as an adult, it is tempting to compare oneself to other women and feel as though our brand of femininity isn’t right our holy enough. This book was a refresher on the reality that God made us different for a reason and that we should joyfully and bravely embrace the unique path to holiness God laid before us.

You can get Go Bravely here.